He is such a slut. More and more my type.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
