I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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