Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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