Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
