hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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