so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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