Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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