And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
