youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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