when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there was a trapeze. enough said
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
