and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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