I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
