I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
