4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize