My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
