and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
