I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
