doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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