Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I faked an abortion last night.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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