just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
