It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
nutella sex= disaster
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
