I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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