I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize