butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
