So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
