Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A bitchslap is in order.
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