Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
