Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
