i just had sex bonerless
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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