look no pants
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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