You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
