playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
