He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
