If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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