It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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