Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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