Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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