I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
