i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
