I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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