Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Two words: blizzard sex
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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