making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
