i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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