she was so not down for the gang bang
Please, let me fuck your mom
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
