He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Found your dick twin last night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
