i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
