I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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