If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
