True but thats because hes a fetus.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
