idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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