i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
