Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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