Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
