Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
