the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
