I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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