so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
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Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
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