Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
