My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
