It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
