WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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