i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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