You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
