Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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