Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
